I don’t know about you, but I have a good feeling about 2012. Just something in the air that speaks to me of good tidings. Also, I’ve gotten some sweet-ass book recommendations that I can’t wait to grumpy-read for you! I kid, I kid, I’m sure some of them will be lovely. Just lovely.
Aaaaand…we’re back! Happy 2012! Did you have a good new year? Did you have a good Valentine’s Day? Are you being properly romanced? I had so much romance in my life it made me want to puke, so I figured that was a sign I should get back here and do some recaps. Blah blah blah, let’s talk about this gem! How about that cover? Doesn’t she look mildly interested in what’s happening? Also, for some reason I look at that image and I see Teddy Roosevelt in the hero’s face. This is the first time I’m seeing that cover because I listened to this as an audiobook and I am SO GLAD that I did! Reading with your eyes is for losers!
It’s Christmas Eve! Happy Christmas Eve! Also, Merry Christmas Eve! More Capital Letters!!!!
Instead of putting up a quick excuse about how there’s no new post today, I figured I would share with you a very special Christmas Episode of Romance Recap. Also, this little Christmas-themed novel gave Mary Balogh the chance to make up for her dreadful Novel That We Won’t Discuss from last week. Is Mary Balogh destined to become the second name on my Romance Authors To Avoid list? Or is she actually a nice lady and just had a rough novel?
In the spirit of Christmas, let’s read her book and judge the shit out of it!
This book is my punishment because I read an amazing book this week (the day I started it, I went straight home from work and read all night until I finished, it was that good) (it’s called The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender and it was wonderful and when I finished I sat on the couch and tried not to weep into my hands) (SO GOOD) and now the universe is like, fuck you Cate! Stop having such a great time reading books and shit! Stop having such good taste! Ughhhhhh. I’ve really done it now. I’ve read one too many excellent novels and now I’m being punished with THIS drivel, which by the way I found at my parents’ house so thanks a lot, Mom, this all your fault!
So, like, can we talk about Jennifer Crusie? Can we talk about how Jennifer Crusie is, like, the most adorable contemporary romance writer, like, ever? Can we talk about my enormous writer-crush-slash-girl-crush on Jennifer Crusie? Can we talk about how funny Jennifer Crusie is, and how much I like all of her characters? And how, even though I’ve never seen a picture of her, I’m pretty sure she’s gorgeous and has really shiny hair and also probably would be a lot of fun to get drunk with? Also can we talk about how one time Jennifer Crusie came to Pittsburgh on a book tour RIGHT AFTER I finished reading my first-ever Jennifer Crusie novel and I chickened out of going to see her because I would have had to go alone and it’s one of the biggest regrets of my life? JENNIFER CRUSIE, you guys!! I have so many feelings!!!!!!
So one night the other week I was kind of sad and needed to escape into something, so I poked around my very messy bookshelf until I found this little gem, the final of my four books from the sweet ladies at the church basement sale. I was about 80 pages in when Joe came over and said, “Love Me With Furry? What the hell are you reading?” That’s a subset of the romance genre I hadn’t thought about before. I know there’s fantasy romance and Christian romance and LGBT romance and BDSM romance (and so much more!), but furry romance? Does it exist? This bears (HAHA PUNS) some looking into! As a resident of Pittsburgh, which as we all know hosts the furries’ annual convention, it seems only right.
Also: this book is dramatically improved if you think about Alex and Spencer as fluffy, anthropomorphized animals. I picture Alex as a raccoon with huuuuuuuge boobs and Spencer as a skunk. Or maybe a weasel. Like, a weasel with rabies and also venereal disease. Your thoughts?
Sorry, no Recap this week. I’m spending quality time with my family and making sweet, sweet tummy love to a harem of sultry, soft-bosomed turkeys.
In fact, I’m calling this whole weekend “research” for my as-yet-unpublished novel (unwritten, too!) in which a virile but emotionally stunted playboy and a sweet virginal young heiress spend a wicked holiday weekend together, tearing into the tender flesh of a braised turkey with their teeth and smothering each other with mashed potatoes and gravy. I know what you’re thinking (“ew…” “that sounds sticky” “you’re a monster”), but the romance genre is lacking in the Thanksgiving department and I intend to fix that! I think we can all agree that Thanksgiving is inherently sexy, so I just don’t understand why no one has capitalized on this yet. (If you know of any sexy Thanksgiving romance novels, PLEASE TELL ME!)
Reginald: Pass the cranberry sauce my love. Also, your boobs. Prepare to be ravished!
Tabitha: Oh, Reg…! Take me! Yes! TAKE ME…to the dining room!