Category Archives: Sassy Virgin

Just Like Heaven

I don’t know about you, but I have a good feeling about 2012. Just something in the air that speaks to me of good tidings. Also, I’ve gotten some sweet-ass book recommendations that I can’t wait to grumpy-read for you! I kid, I kid, I’m sure some of them will be lovely. Just lovely.

Continue reading

Advertisements

An Affair Without End

This book is sort of infuriating in a lot of ways. For one, the print is SO SMALL. Like, teensy tiny. What am I reading here, high-brow literature? Plus there are SO many little side-stories, all these secondary characters we’re supposed to care about. I’m pretty sure Candance Camp has, like, a dozen books planned for this circle of characters and she wants to make sure that all of them show up and have something to do in every single book but, frankly, I find it really annoying. I mean, yeah, whatever, you don’t just want a heroine who pines away for the hero and does nothing for an entire novel, but let’s leave the secondary characters to their own book and quit clogging up this one. Plus – and this is where I really start to zone out – almost all of the first 200 pages are them attending parties, them interacting with neighbors, them being introduced to Lady So-and-So and it is so ungoldly boring. I mean, who cares? Really? WHO CARES? Who is picking up romance novels and being like, oooh I can’t wait to hear about what this completely random made-up member of the lower elite is up to and how they feel and what kind of parties they attend! Who is doing that?! No one, that’s who. No one is doing that. It’s stupid and it wastes pages and it distracts from the real plot which is WILL THEY OR WON’T THEY DO THE SEX? (They will.) Stop world-building, Candace Camp. If you take all that crap out and double the font size you’d have a totally normal, respectable romance novel and I wouldn’t be yawn-sighing every two pages.

Continue reading

Compromised Hearts

This book is SUPER SUPER special to me, because it’s one of the very first romance novels I ever read (thanks Hannah Howell!). It’s the first romance novel I remember reading, although I read a lot of them (thanks, Mom, for having such a large collection for me to steal from!) and I can’t actually remember where this one fell in the chronology of romance novels in my life. Let’s just say that this book is one of the novels that started me down this road to obsession! Also it may have started a bunch of friends down that road, as I definitely passed it all around school. I saw this copy at the Borders (RIP) going out of business sale and it did not even occur to me to restrain the wave of nostalgia. Reader, I bought it.

Continue reading

Marriage Most Scandalous

This one is really exciting! It’s my VERY FIRST romance novel audiobook! See, I had this long drive to do by myself and I’m kind of a wuss about driving long distances alone because I either start to fall asleep or I get really antsy or I just get BORED and I end up stopping, like, once an hour, to the point that even the dog is like, Jesus H…again?! So usually I just make a CD or ten CDs or load up the ol’ MP3 machine with music that I can sing along to at the top of my lungs, but ugh…that’s a LONG time to be singing. And then I thought, audiobook! And then I thought, ROMANCE NOVEL AUDIOBOOK!!!!! And that’s how this all came to be.

Continue reading

Chieftain

Romance novel covers are an endless fascination of mine. Sometimes there’s just a lady, looking helpless or pouty or tousled. Sometimes there’s just a dude, looking swarthy and tough and menacing. Sometimes it’s a totally innocuous image and then you flip the page and – hey there! – sexytimes are unfolding. But sometimes, like with Chieftain – or maybe chiefTain or ChiefTain, it’s hard to tell from the font – the image is just…like…you know? I mean, WHAT is happening here? Is he unconscious? Has he been bludgeoned? The bulging muscles make him look very unrelaxed, like he’s waiting for something bad to happen.

…Which basically sums up this entire novel. Every page I turned was like, what kind of horror is going to pop up next? Look, I don’t think Nan Ryan is a racist person. I just think she probably did her research by watching Disney’s Pocahontas and prefers to rely on race-based stereotypes. But hey, let’s not let all those icky issues get in the way of a love story! It’s just fluff! It doesn’t have to be accurate! Haven’t white people suffered enough?

Continue reading

Wicked Intentions

This week to spice things up I thought I’d read a romance novel about a young, beautiful woman and the older, muscular, very handsome, extremely damaged man that she falls in love with. You know, something a little different. Some uncharted territory. Something to keep me guessing every step of the way, something exciting and new…

Continue reading

A Pirate’s Love

I’m beginning to wonder: do I have some knack for selecting truly horrific romance novels to read or have the majority of romance novels jumped off the deep end? Am I just paying more attention to the infuriating plots and characters than I used to? Is my critical eye more attuned, less forgiving? Or do these books have some kind of psychic pull over me that leaves me helpless, unable to resist? Am I being punished?

Also, food for thought: “pirate’s” is an anagram for “rape-ist.”

Continue reading