Book Number 2 of the free, misfit romance novel collection! CHECK OUT THAT COVER, people. I mean, you can totally see why I bought it, right? He looks like a g.d. wolfman!!! Obviously, I needed it in my life. But anyhow, this doesn’t feel like a substantial book in your hand. It feels kind of short – so I thought, oh well maybe it’s straight-forward, right to the point, no messing around. Right? Well. Not right. In another genre you might call this novel “dense” or perhaps “twisty.” In the romance genre, however, I prefer to catalog this book as OMFG WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED WHAT THE HELL COULD POSSIBLYHAPPEN NEXT WTF ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!
Posted in * = RRARRRR FIERY RAGE, *** = Better Than a Sharp Stick in The Eye, America, Asia, Britain, Charlotte Prentiss, Cowboys, Criminals, Europe, Fantastically Wealthy, Historical, Insufferable Hero
So a while back I went to this used book sale and right at the entrance to the sale there was this shelf of misfit books that nobody wanted with a big sign that said “FREE!” and on the shelf were a bunch of romance novels that looked AMAZING, if you know what I mean. I immediately lost my composure and started screaming and tearing my hair out and making a scene in this church basement while the sweet old ladies running the sale looked on and nodded knowingly to one another. What I wanted to do of course was fill my arms and my purse and my pockets and my boyfriend’s pockets and the trunk of my car with books glorious books, but I ended up demonstrating some real restraint and only grabbing four of the free books – which I think we can all agree is a feat of almost unbelievable selflessness. Of course I made my selections based entirely on the cover art and how much I thought the novels would enhance my quality of life.
Love is complicated. You know what else is complicated? Complications. I finished this doozy of a romance novel more than a week ago and it’s taken me until now to recover. I think Patricia Hagan had an idea for five or six novels and then decided just to shove them all into one. Her publisher made the brilliant decision to con people like me into buying this twisty turn maze of sex and violence with this seemly innocuous blurb:
After her father’s death, Julie Marshal vowed to save the family plantation, even if it meant marrying a man she knew she could never love. But duty would soon give way to desire in the arms of Derek Arnhardt, a rugged ship’s captain whose mistress was the sea – until he saw the green-eyed beauty. Then, nothing could come between him and his ultimate goal – to possess Julie body and soul.
Pirate romance! Sounds hot, right? Sounds totally normal, right? Pirate! Romance! Innocuous! Sexy! Holy canola, it took a hard left, like, right away.
In between Something Wonderful and this one, I actually picked up another romance. It was a contemporary-set novel and usually I don’t care for those at all, but it was pretty enjoyable. The hero and the heroine were super hot for each other, they cared about each other, they were mature and respectful and loving, she had her own life and so did he, and so on. And you know what? They were such good people that it was difficult to Recap. Difficult and noticeably absent of disgust and horrified amusement.
Luckily for me, there are plenty of other books like this one for me to be horrified and insulted and creeped out by. Thank goodness, it got scary for a minute.